(© Bonnie Schiedel. Originally published in Today’s Parent, October 2006)

Clubs, classes and getaways for your and your daughter 

When your daughter was an infant and a toddler, the two of you giggled your way through “mommy & me” swim sessions and library storytimes. So why not keep the party going? There are all kinds of fun mother-daughter clubs and classes out there that will help you do a little female bonding. Plus, mother-daughter outings can help smooth the way a bit in the, ah, challenging tween and teen years. “Have you ever noticed that when daughters are around 11 or 12, mothers get really dumb?” laughs Penny Fransblow, a librarian who heads up two mother-daughter book clubs at the Jewish Public Library in Montreal. “Mother-daughter activities get conversations started in a relaxed atmosphere.” (And dads and sons take note: a number of activities we found have father-son, or parent-child, counterparts too.) Read on to find out what to expect if you decide to join — or start — a mother-daughter group of your own. 

Book club
Mother-daughter book clubs are pretty darn popular, inspired perhaps by Shireen Dodson’s 1997 how-to guide, The Mother-Daughter Book Club (Harper Collins). Dishing on what you liked and loathed about a book is just plain fun. And if it improves young reading skills, that’s a bonus. Fransblow suggests monthly 90-minute meetings, and finds that six pairs is a generally a good number of people. 
Moms say “I love to see what captures the girls’ imaginations and gets them impassioned,” says Jan Matthews of Amherst, NS, who, along with her daughter Emily, has been part of a book club at Amherst Library for more than two years. “It’s a way to hear what Emily thinks, and in a group, things come out — say, something that happened at school — that you wouldn’t hear if we were talking one-on-one.”
Daughters say “I love to read, so the book club is really fun. The food at the meetings is good too, and it goes with the book. For the meeting on Everything on a Waffle (Douglas & McIntyre) [by Polly Horvath] we had waffles!” –Emily, 14
Keep in mind Buying books can get pricey, especially in hardcover, so use your library (the free inter-library loan service is wonderful, notes Emily). Swap books with another similar book club, or ask your local bookstore about a discount if you buy in bulk. 
Tip Use our online “Find-a-Book” tool to find some great reads (go to todaysparent.com and click on “Tools & Fun”). Or, just ask around — Fransblow likes My Louisiana Sky (Henry Holt) by Kimberly Willis; Jan picks Just Ella (Simon & Schuster) by Marg Peterson Haddix and Emily’s fave is Absolutely Normal Chaos by Sharon Creech (Macmillan). 

Arts & crafts
Roll up your sleeves and get busy with paint, clay or paper. Libraries, community centres and studios offer a variety of lessons for creative moms and daughters (as well as the craft-challenged!) Sessions between one to two hours, for 6 to 12 people, depending on the girls’ ages and abilities, are best.
Moms say “I’m a single mom, so it’s hard to sit down and do crafts when there are 30 million other things to do,” say Angela Pearson of Windsor, Ont. “Having a set time to go and make beautiful bracelets at [a local store called] The Bead Gallery was ideal. Plus, my daughter Stephanie and I don’t have a lot of interests in common — I’m a couch potato, she loves crafts — so this was a wonderful way to bond together. Our bracelets are mementoes.”
Daughters say “I like to wear my bracelet because it is purple and I did a good job putting it together. It has a bead with my mom’s initial on it and hers has my initial on it.” –Stephanie, age 9
Keep in mind “A little bit of organization goes a long way, but don’t be rigid. Keep the class loose and fun,” says Alison Slack, who does mother-daughter scrapbooking classes at her Guelph, Ont., home studio on PA days. Her sessions are geared towards the girls, with themes that include “Hanging Out” and “My Goals.” Think about childcare too — Slack books an in-house babysitter to care for younger sibs while the moms and girls work. 
Tip This is the kind of activity that could easily be expanded to a full day or weekend to complete a project. Rent a well-lit room with a good work space and hire an instructor or two (ask at local craft or specialty shops) to learn how to sketch, knit, decorate jeans or make cards. (Be sure to plan breaks for meals, walks and perhaps a related movie.) Or go the all-inclusive route, such as the Bloomin’ Inn Guest Ranch’s mother-daughter scrapbooking weekend in Pincher Creek, Alta. (bloomin-inn.com, $155 each). See “Cool girls’ getaways” for other mother-daughter weekend ideas. 


Fitness
Rec centres and fitness studios across the country have come up with a huge variety of mother-daughter fitness activities, from golf clinics to volleyball leagues to exercise ball classes. Look for a decent instructor-to-student ratio (it will vary depending on the activity, but 1 to 10 is generally good) and class length (45 to 60 minutes). Bonus: an in-house workout buddy is a great motivator.
Moms say “I had been taking belly dancing lessons at the Dance Oasis studio for about six years when my daughter Rose asked if she asked me if she could take a lesson with me,” says Isabelle Bernier of Cantley, Que. “So I asked my instructor and she came up with mother-daughter group lessons, which we’ve been doing for a year and a half now. I think it’s so important to have special time for just the two of you. I’ll catch Rose’s eye during the lesson and there is a real feeling of complicite, of partnership, between us.” 
Daughters say “My favourite part is at the end of class, we all take turns dancing in the middle of the circle. I can show the moves I learned and see what my mom learned too.” –Rose, age 7 
Keep in mind Make sure your instructor is certified and has realistic expectations about your daughter’s abilities. (Pre-pubescent kids shouldn’t be doing intensive weight training, for example.) An adaptable instructor is ideal too. “My students have different issues — the moms might have back or neck problems, while the daughters may not have as much upper body strength yet — so I demonstrate modifications to suit everyone’s needs,” notes Danielle Kaplan, a certified Pilates instructor who teaches a weekly 60-minute mother-daughter Pilates class at her Toronto home studio. 
Tip For at-home workouts, check out family-friendly books, such as Playful Family Yoga: For Kids, Parents and Grandparents (Princeton Books) by Teressa Ascencia, or DVDs, like Shake, a fun dance workout by certified trainer Kari Anderson. Or start a walking club with a few friends and gear up for next fall’s Cheerios Mother-Daughter Walk for heart and stroke research (heartandstroke.ca).

Self-defence 
Several not-for-profit organizations, as well as individual studios, offer mother-daughter self-defense courses. You learn about avoiding and preventing dangerous situations, and what to do if you do run into trouble. Depending on the course, you may get to practice your moves on a guy in a special padded suit, or moms and older girls may even break a board! Hee-yah! A group of 12 people, taught through six weekly classes, is ideal, says Gaye Ferguson, a Vancouver instructor who teaches a course called Wenlido. Shorter classes (two- to four-hours total) are also an option.
Moms say “No matter what your age, it’s important to know how to be aware and protect yourself, and the class gives you tools to do that,” says Barb Schoeber, who took a Kidpower Vancouver class with her two daughters, Taiya and Delenn. “Plus it was fun!”
Daughters say “I was sort of surprised at how strong I could be. The class is good because if someone wants to cause trouble you know what to do.” –Taiya, age 10
Keep in mind Self-defense deals with serious issues, but your instructor should be able to get the information across in a fun, empowering way. “We tell a lot of jokes and funny stories,” says Ferguson. “And we talk about the women who got away because they knew what to do.” 
Tip Your instructor may encourage you and your daughter to work with other girls and women in the class too. “If you mix it up, you get out of your comfort zone and learn more,” notes Ferguson.

Sidebar: Cool girl getaways
If you can’t squeeze another meeting or class into your daily schedule, how about a relaxing mother-daughter weekend getaway? You’ll get to hang out with other moms and daughters, and all the details are taken care of for you. Who needs the mall — your choice of activities includes canoeing, horseback riding, spa treatments and even surfing! 

Go play A number of sleep-away camps across the country offer mother-daughter weekends. A couple hundred bucks per pair generally buys you accommodations, meals and activities like archery, hikes, rock climbing, crafts and sailing. Check your local Y, camp or church. 
Or consider a camp with a theme. For example, find your inner surfer babes on Vancouver Island (surfsister.com, $295 each), or saddle up for horseback riding lessons in Smithers, BC (mvtrailriding.com, $289 per pair). Extend the fun with a longer outing, like a five-day canoe trip in the gorgeous Temagami wilderness in northern Ontario (wildwomenexp.com, $899 per pair). 
DIY option: Rent or borrow a cottage or condo and explore the area together. Or swap homes with another mom and daughter pair. Call the Chamber of Commerce to find out about local attractions and lessons. 

Chill out If a pedicure for two is more your style, visit spasincanada.ca and use its free Concierge Service to find a spa package that’s right for both of you. (If you want the spa to come right to your door, inquire about a “mobile spa” in your area.) Many spas offer treatments especially for preteens and teens. A mother-daughter retreat, like the one offered by Thirteen Moons near Norwood, Ont., (thirteenmoons.ca, from $345 for both) features yoga, organic vegetarian cooking, massages for moms, and nature walks. 
DIY option: Hit the drugstore and load up on nail polish, facial treatments and chocolate, then dive into a chick flick (for inspiration, consult Mother-Daughter Movies: 101 Films to See Together by Rosemary Rogers, Christine Ersnt Bode and Neil Rogers Michlin). Or hire a student from your local esthetics school for in-house beauty treatments at a discount. Check out Spa-di-da! A Spa Day with Mom (Simon & Schuster) by Suzanne Weyn too.