Do you mind if your doctor calls you by your first name?

(Copyright Bonnie Schiedel. Originally published in Canadian Health, July 2011). 

Picture it: you're at the doctor's office, dressed in a shapeless, open-at-the-back gown, sitting on the exam table with your feet dangling, waiting and perhaps feeling a bit anxious about your health. It's a scenario that can't help but make many of us feel a little (or a lot) vulnerable. The doctor arrives and says "hello Pat! What brings you here today?" Do you feel:
a)more at ease because the atmosphere seems nice and casual
b)uncomfortable being so familiarly addressed by your first name
c)just relieved you finally got an appointment to discuss your health


Turns out, there's no clear-cut answer here. For many, it depends on the situation—is the doctor older or younger than you? Have you been seeing this doctor for years or is it a specialist or someone at a walk-in clinic you've never met before? Is it ok for the doctor to use your first name, but not the nurse? What's your age and upbringing? A 2007 study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine tackled the often-thorny issue. It found that 50.4 per cent of respondents wanted their first name to be used when the doctor greets them—which of course means that an equal number did not. Those study results tended to vary by age, sex and race, but there are no set rules. Terry Patten, 72, of Vancouver, for example, prefers being called by his first name. "I don't like being called Mister. And I call my family doctor by his first name because I've been his patient for 25 years and we're close in age." 

It's not surprising the issue has grey areas: the way doctors greet patients is entirely up to the individual doctor (and to some extent, the patient, of course.) For example, the College of Family Physicians of Canada doesn't have greeting guidelines for its members, and it may or may not be addressed in medical school training, depending on the instructor or supervisor. 

It's an issue Dr Frank Martino, a family physician in Brampton, Ont., has carefully considered. He's been in practice for 20 years and most of his patients have been with him for at least five years, so he does usually use first names. However, it's not automatic. "In early encounters with patients, you gauge their comfort level. So if I say, 'Mr Smith, is it ok if I call you John?' and he kind of flinches, you know he's not ok with being called John. It's always important to ask the question, but it's not something that's taught." He adds that in his group practice of 17 doctors, it's policy for the non-physician staff, such as the receptionists, to say Mr or Mrs, mainly because with 39 000 patients, they don't have the same personal relationship with the patient that the doctor does. 

So what do you do if you prefer one form of address over another? "The patient needs to be right up front and say 'I'd rather be called Mrs Jones than Sue,'" he says. "I think the physician who doesn't respect that is at a loss. If you respect the patient's wishes, they will feel more comfortable and will be more likely to engage with you, and the quality of care improves."